darn it! i wanna curse the world yesterday!!! its really shitty! my roommate (allen) borrowed my keys and went to the condo while i was sitting in the lobby then, after getting his things bcoz he's going home already, he failed to return my keys! on my part, i think i also have my own shortcomings for not getting the keys. but its his responsibility to return what he borrowed. that simple thing caused me so much harm that night.
i went on waiting for about 30 minutes because i texted him through the cellphone of a stranger luckily i recalled the phone number of my friend (jayvee) and he volunteered to talk to allen the fucking part is my roommate she said that i should somehow wait for about 2 hours!! because he will first go home and dismantle his things and after that return at the condo... luckily i decided to go to jayvee's house knowing the danger it can lead because he said that it is already unsafe for me. its around 11:00 at that time, as i was walking at his house, a van approached me. A guy without shirt sneaked out from his window (i thought he was throwing something in my direction) and hit me. fortunately, he didnt reached me. but i trembled. i was in a state of shock. anyway, i was really hurrying and after awhile i already arrived at my friends house.
if it wouldnt for jayvee, i didnt know what would happen to me in that span of time waiting for a miracle to happen fortunately, he helped me contact my other roommate through his landline and cellphone. who i think is still in the vicinity of manila... shortly somebody texted through jayvee's cellphone. it was emil (my other roommate who's still in manila). he said that he already have found his keys (he said awhile ago that he misplaced his keys) and i can already go back to the dorm. But i began to wonder the struggles ill be experiencing walking back to the condo (remembering the van incident)... good thing jayvee's older sister initiated that they'll gonna drive me back to my dorm...
it happened yesterday.. so its nov 29. most of the people at our room have already left for this weekend. since nov30 is a holiday, theres nothing to do. but our shitty review still requires us to go to class... by the way, my roommate who borrowed my keys didnt return to the condo. he suggested that i sleep over at jayvee's house... lesson ive learned is never to lend my personal and significant things with other people most importantly if they are very irresponsible!
Saturday, November 30, 2002
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Movie Line from "Chasing Army"
Alyssa: "Why are we stopping?"
Holden: "Because I can't take this."
Alyssa: "Can't take what?"
Holden: "I love you."
Alyssa: "You love me?"
Holden: "I love you. ANd not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and that crossing that line is the farthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take it anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can;t look in your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can';t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this probably queer our friendship--no pun intended--but i had to say it because I';ve never felt this befroe, and I like who I am because I've never felt this before, and i like who i am because of it. and if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But i couldnt allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shootdown. And ill accept that. But i know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation. that means you feel something too. All i ask is that you no dismiss thatat least for 10 seconds--and try to dwell in it, Alyssa, there isnt another soul on this planet whos ever made me half the person i am when im with you, and i would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. because its there between you and me. you
Alyssa: "Why are we stopping?"
Holden: "Because I can't take this."
Alyssa: "Can't take what?"
Holden: "I love you."
Alyssa: "You love me?"
Holden: "I love you. ANd not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and that crossing that line is the farthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take it anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can;t look in your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can';t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this probably queer our friendship--no pun intended--but i had to say it because I';ve never felt this befroe, and I like who I am because I've never felt this before, and i like who i am because of it. and if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But i couldnt allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shootdown. And ill accept that. But i know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation. that means you feel something too. All i ask is that you no dismiss thatat least for 10 seconds--and try to dwell in it, Alyssa, there isnt another soul on this planet whos ever made me half the person i am when im with you, and i would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. because its there between you and me. you
im really depressed with my performance awhile ago in my exam. its really bloody frustrating. i studied really hard, knowing all of the formulas and even the rationale for such application then i learned that i didnt get a perfect score because of petty mistakes... shesh... anyway, for a change, im reading a new book entitled 7 habits of an effective teens {something like that}... its really inspiring and it really soothes myself and what im undergoing right now. im really troubled when it comes to love problems, academics, and spiritual enlightenment.
im getting too serious... so im gonna talk about my day. well its a great day minus my exam frustrations and few carelessness that i deemed inherent within my system. i think we all have our own shortcomings day by day. i have my share of downfall and fortunately i brought with my the book i was telling you awhile ago. its the one that my bestriend karla has lend me. btw, not to confuse you but the bestriend that im talking about in my previous blog is not synonymous to bestriend karla... i consider the other one as an implied bestfriend since we really enjoy each others' presence... hey guys, i think this entry is already long enough.. i still have to check my other mails and answer few review questions for tomorrow... so ill just call it a night then. :}
im getting too serious... so im gonna talk about my day. well its a great day minus my exam frustrations and few carelessness that i deemed inherent within my system. i think we all have our own shortcomings day by day. i have my share of downfall and fortunately i brought with my the book i was telling you awhile ago. its the one that my bestriend karla has lend me. btw, not to confuse you but the bestriend that im talking about in my previous blog is not synonymous to bestriend karla... i consider the other one as an implied bestfriend since we really enjoy each others' presence... hey guys, i think this entry is already long enough.. i still have to check my other mails and answer few review questions for tomorrow... so ill just call it a night then. :}
Monday, November 25, 2002
hey its another monday morning... i wanna start the day right. although i slept already late last night i still manage to wake up early for the review. its alrady my second week of taking my review for the CPA board exam and should i say im still enthusiastic to go for it. well, i wanna study really hard so that i wouldnt only pass but hopefully i can top the board exams... hahaha forget about that... [parang nananaginip pa rin ako]... anyway, im already equiped for my test later. may test kasi ako sa undergrad accounting class ko e...
about my social life, i think its slowly diminishing. but wat da heck. its for my own good. imagine this, it would just take me half a year to exert the best effort so i have to make the best out of it. no more movies, no more nights out. just plain review. and i can attest to that. i wouldnt go out, maybe the only time i can losen up a bit would be during my christmas break. anyhow, im enjoying my new leisure. that's internet surfing. so you'll probably see more of me here. after reviewing for so many hours, i could break free by posting a thing or two...
about my social life, i think its slowly diminishing. but wat da heck. its for my own good. imagine this, it would just take me half a year to exert the best effort so i have to make the best out of it. no more movies, no more nights out. just plain review. and i can attest to that. i wouldnt go out, maybe the only time i can losen up a bit would be during my christmas break. anyhow, im enjoying my new leisure. that's internet surfing. so you'll probably see more of me here. after reviewing for so many hours, i could break free by posting a thing or two...
Saturday, November 23, 2002
hi its me... its really been awhile since i updated my new blog... well for couple of reasons: one, i didnt have access to the internet
since my brother used the laptop at home. so i never had the chance to bring it at burgundy... another reason is that my internet card username is stored in the computer although i know the password i cant use it. second, i have already started my review at PRTC for the CPA board exams. so i barely have the time to do my routinary internet surfing... well, you might ask why im already here on the internet... basically, at this time around there is no people at burgundy. naturally, i wont let myself become insane by just talking to myself there. at least here i can use my time productively. knowing how life is going on ... too much accounting, taxation, business law have already preoccupied my mind. thank God, i have the luxury of time ryt now to surf...
how do i feel? well, im kinda frustrated... just when i knew im falling for her, i began to be so coward. it feels really strange since i consider her as my bestfriend. how in the world will she ever accept my feelings?! its really sad since the one she likes also likes her... i have encountered endless pain, i really dont know if i can still endure it but i know i will surivive. im pretty busy so
i hope it will just subside. i even hate to admit it but, it really goes under my skin. i think of her day and night. we're always together, and i cant help not looking at her with awe as i think of the possibilities of saying what i feel... oh well, i guess someday my lips are going to utter words that i never imagined i will be doing... so ill let time fly by itself as day will pass... let me just rekindle
every moment im with her for i know that when i tell her everything, there might be a possibility of rejection and our friendship might end. with this precious time we will be together, i will just have to mesmerize the moment im with her :)
since my brother used the laptop at home. so i never had the chance to bring it at burgundy... another reason is that my internet card username is stored in the computer although i know the password i cant use it. second, i have already started my review at PRTC for the CPA board exams. so i barely have the time to do my routinary internet surfing... well, you might ask why im already here on the internet... basically, at this time around there is no people at burgundy. naturally, i wont let myself become insane by just talking to myself there. at least here i can use my time productively. knowing how life is going on ... too much accounting, taxation, business law have already preoccupied my mind. thank God, i have the luxury of time ryt now to surf...
how do i feel? well, im kinda frustrated... just when i knew im falling for her, i began to be so coward. it feels really strange since i consider her as my bestfriend. how in the world will she ever accept my feelings?! its really sad since the one she likes also likes her... i have encountered endless pain, i really dont know if i can still endure it but i know i will surivive. im pretty busy so
i hope it will just subside. i even hate to admit it but, it really goes under my skin. i think of her day and night. we're always together, and i cant help not looking at her with awe as i think of the possibilities of saying what i feel... oh well, i guess someday my lips are going to utter words that i never imagined i will be doing... so ill let time fly by itself as day will pass... let me just rekindle
every moment im with her for i know that when i tell her everything, there might be a possibility of rejection and our friendship might end. with this precious time we will be together, i will just have to mesmerize the moment im with her :)
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