@r0ndzm

I'm really really desperate to have my internet connection. It happened during the course of the week wherein I kept on attempting to open my internet explorer. I even tried mozilla but none of them seems to be working. I've changed my phone cable and ethernet cable to the spare I had just to check if there might be worn-out wires but still there's no sign of internet. my last resort is to try it on using my dell (it might have been my compaq's topaq) but still, no internet...

When i finally logged on Biggie's (Bigpond) site, it says that my account is inactive! And i reckon it has something to do with the payment dues. I called them up and realised that it is because of my relocation from Strathfield to Waverton! How stupid?! Biggie and Tellie (Telstra) belongs to the same company!!! It's a technical problem that Telstra wasn't able to link my accounts together and have updated my telephone line address but my internet was still being billed at my old home. Isn't it damn obvious that if my telephone is being relocated then should the internet also be. Even a small kid will realise this! Anyway, I paid for it right-away and just hope that I would have that Biggie soon.

One afternoon as I was just having my audit training I glanced over the window and saw how good it is to watch the leaves falling. It felt good to look back and reflect on how the six months I've been with Sydney. I've had my fair share of homesickness and sudden enthusiastic moments. I've adjusted so far and would think that I am now recovering, especially from my finances. It is just so good to realise how everything started and now you dream about how you are going to live life on the next few years. I am still in the process of studying my options to renew my contract or probably do permanent visa to help my plans for further studies.

I know that when I arrived here at Sydney, there's so much that I wanna do and explore. I know that life here would be more of an adventure for me as I journey to the second half of my 20's. I feel that I've dealt with the labyrinth of emotions just deciding to come here and how I could make it happen. Good thing that the monster in me hasn't been unleashed to spoil my plans. So far, I know I am on the right track. But what happens next?

As the leaves are falling, there is always some rain that will wash away these dirty leaves. It will be clean but soon forgotten. A new set of leaves will sprung, a sign of hope that no matter how rough it gets there's always a brand new day. This gives me a feeling that hope is always there. So much to anticipate and so much to hope for. I just know that someday, I will feel fulfilled and that I will feel contented with how I am journeying through this road I've taken.

[ extra ]
I just finished putting up a table. It is massive! I mean it literally occupied the extra space on our living room. And I have asked permission (from Renee) to place it there because is not possible to put it in my tiny tiny room. It's really ironic that my table is so huge but my laptop is so small that it only occupied 15% of the space.

By the way, the husband of Renee has already arrived and we went to the City to tour him around. My feet is throbbing in pain as I blog. I wasn't able to get a gelato and wasn't able to get a latte. And I am crying out loud because my laundry isn't finished since I forgot to put in the dryer when we left the house. And tomorrow's Sunday. Here we go again with the work. Waaaaaah.. I just want to be rich and just bum around. Oh well..

Been doing a lot of performance appraisal today. And now its my turn to evaluate myself. Never have I made self review and it is equally hard as making performance reviews for your staff. Its hard in the sense that you have to know exactly the things that you've focused on a particular engagement. Here in Sydney, you have to mention if you are ready to be progressed to a higher level. As such, I have to recall instances where I feel a hero for the firm. Its a bit hard boasting you're achievements without being too proud of yourself. You have to know the difference between boasting and just merely stating your accomplishments.

Just this afternoon, my manager was very happy to know that our client have given us a higher rating in the client satisfaction survey. I know that I did what I can do to please them. And for that I am really glad that my spell did work.

It worries me a lot when accounting for all my expenditures today. Not that it matters much but when you pile up all the junkies I've been buying, it will give you a snooze that you have to straighten up your life and stop spending too much. As my mother would always put it, don't spend more than what you earn! And now I realise that I'm beginning to crumble because of too much indebtedness on my precious plastic card. By tomorrow I will budget the things I NEED to spent on. I know that this Sydney mission is not only to enjoy life but to there is something that I need to gain here. I began searching for reasons why I stayed in Sydney and why I have resigned from my previous work. And I realise my purpose is to know how to live independently, gain more exposure to audit, and to save some money for the rainy days. I know someone will be needing it in the future. I talked to my mom the other day and she mentioned about my relatives' problem regarding financial capability to send their daughter to college. And just like a light-bulb-flashing-experience, I realise that I would help her. As I chatted with my friends yesterday regarding one's purpose in life, we realised that as professionals we somehow do not seem to have a drive on where we are going to. Other overseas workers are struggling to send off their kids to school and have dreams to be prosperous. And how about me? Am I here just to spend my earnings on total life satisfaction at present? Now, it gives me a sudden urge to help my cousin in her studies. It give me a realisation that being here has an entirely different purpose, which is to help my cousin and live a legacy. My resolution... as I conclude is to know where my money goes to. I need to budget. And be able to know that I'm doing the right choice.

I have to abolish this kind of thinking:

Gusseted pillow - $9.95



Bali table runners - $19.95





Silver Vertigo light lamp - $79.95




Reisen laundry hamper - $69.95




Grand theft auto PC game - $39.95




Silver psycho mirror - $189.00

Dream fulfilled as I bought this crazy Psycho Mirror. To describe, it gives you 4 by 6 little rectangles to give a unique view of yourself! At long last, I have already installed it at home. Just not sure if it is valid to put hooks on the walls. Watdaheck, just by staring through it I began to do some wacky faces. This Psycho Mirror has unleashed its possessing powers to overpower me. For unknown reasons, I began jumping.. dancing.. and doing silly faces! Just to see how it would react. I finally slowed down and realised that I'm totally being a psycho. I pulled myself together, breathed and started going back to reality. The mirror depicts my life not as a psycho but as fun-loving creature that you can never tell whats on my mind. I tend to change my mood so often. It seems that in more instances I tend to shift to another personality when reaching a certain circumstance especially when I can't manage being in a certain situation.

'nuff about the psycho-analysis and just look through its possessing powers on ME.

Today's Black Saturday and I say blocked because I'm here at home and doesn't have anything to do. Firstly, since my friend Renee's belief that this day shouldn't be spent enjoying since Christ has died and so I respect her beliefs. Tough in our family's tradition, today is the day that we normally go to our beach in pangasinan. The strict part is Good Friday, especially when it reached 3pm when our Lord died.. Secondly, I think that I should save my money and not go to Blue Mountains as I won't have enough money to spent on the following week, sorry Mon, et al. And thirdly, I just think that being at home will energise me for the rest of the easter break and whatever activities instored for me.

However, yesterday we went to Visita Iglesia and I am glad that my friend Angeline has organised this event (it was such a success!). I have never done this in the Philippines. We've been to different churches (seven in total) and different things happen along the way. Like when we went to our second church in North Sydney (is it St. Peter?) wherein we were treated very kindly by the lady with lavender scarf in Lavender Bay. Thanks to her, our stomachs were filled with food, just enough to survive the journey. Plus we've got to talk with a very nice lady who were very surprised to be talking to hullata accountants (she said she never done it in her lifetime, I mean talking with so many accountants). We also encountered a bizarre church celebration coupled with foreign tongue (Ukrainian, I suppose) and the kissing of the ground, I believe it's in Lidcombe. In addition, the first church we went to was in Chatswood, our lady of Dolor as I can remember correctly, included the practise of the senakulo. Third church in St. Patrick, we're we got a bit lost included an insane man who seemed very sad because he is crying but when a lady approached him to give some help, he became a monster and shouting with all his might. It became a bit freaky. Mind you, we got soo lost finding this place. And it turned out to be a small church around the corner in the City. The last church was in Parramatta which I think is really nice. Although the church was burnt the new one was really fab! This is filled with so much people as they are already started the Passion of Christ. I ended up taking a communion. Sorry again to my friends, I wasn't able to prompt them about my intention and they were waiting for me the whole time. Anyway, the event was really unforgettable. and worth cherishing..

Gong back to my blocked saturday, I've just rented few more movies and I think its my first time to have a movie quadralton and watched four movies for today. Dreamcatcher was kinda freaky but really nice movie. i will have loved to have read the novel. to make it more happy, watched the hilarious pink panther's stupidity turned into triumph. also watched the sci-fi stealth and never imagined how awesome is it to become part of us navy talon force. and now as i will about to sleep in coupla hours, I'm going to watch the thriller, sleeping with the enemy.

This easter season is really exciting not only will i go to the easter show at the olympic park tomorrow, but also i will now eat my egg and my bunny! its a phenomenal event and for sure its gonna be a success!

Im here at Parramatta as i speak. I just feel incomplete without attending the complete celebration of the passion of Christ. What's the difference? Here the cross is not accessible as people would kiss the cross. A bow or genuflect is fine. My friends and i went to different churches and we did the station of the cross. Visita iglesia meaning visiting the churches. Im tired and hungry and please be reminded that fasting should be done today. Its just weird that my friends are eating and i am fasting. I just want to sacrifice and feel that i am dong something difficult for the Lord. That is why i will not eat any other meal for today. I miss procession at our province and it just makes me sad that i had to be here learning different way of celebrating the holy week. Inasmuch as i enjoyed visita iglesia i would still prefer celebrating the passion of Christ.

I really don't get it but there is a fascinating thing about tabo and being pinoy. Something like you-know-you're-a-pinoy-if's. anyway, it's good to have one and while I was using it, I suddenly focused my attention to the beary creature with all those heart-shape figures and butterflies colored in a feminine way, saying "create a comfortable life space". What does that mean? It's so profound. and I began thinking about what it really means. Maybe it's talking about tension that we feel that sometimes we make small things complex. Or maybe it has something to do with beautifying your life and enjoying more. And another theory is for a stressed person not to think much about hardships and just create something that will make you feel a better person. Finally, after all this thoughts were racing through my head. I began to focus on one thought, which is to feel unstressed. do not feel stressed out when you have a problem. try to breathe. Create the so-called "life space". Whatever the form may be, just focus on the things that will make you happy and comfortable. It will in fact, make you happy and feel light. so the next question now is: why one earth was this message placed on a tabo? Simply because when we do our daily routines *you know what i mean* and we sit down in the toilet. It makes us think about our problems. Sometimes we even think of how miserable our life really is. But as you use the tabo to wash away all the crappy thoughts, you'll be constantly reminded to take it easy and be happy. Nice two cents worth to end the day. But here's the real question I want to impart on you, readers... What is the english of tabo? hikhikhik

Just call in sick today since i am expecting delivery from casual f*cking living (cfl). after 2 months of waiting, the bed is finally here. i have to go an a sickie just to accommodate the delivery. we also went to alexandria to get the bed side table. we got a refund from cfl because they said it would be delivered end of april. cant wait that long, we just bought it from fantastic furniture. and for what its worth... have to assemble it and just one simple bedside table took us more than an hour to finish because of the pieces that should be done. its even easier to assemble the bed compared to the bedside table.

Here are the items we've got today! Yipee!

the emotion you hide most:
- anger and disappointment. i seldom show that emotions because i am afraid to hurt others

the emotions you tend to experience most:
- being excited. in short, mababaw lang ang kaligayahan ko. hehe

the emotion you are feeling most lately:
- excited! toldja i tend to experience this most especially when i think about my bangkok tour hehe

when you are angry you need:
- to cool down. do my thing if you know what i mean. after 10 mins *puff* im back to normal!

when you are sentimental you need:
- i need my laptop! blog and romantic-comedy movie with ice cream is the best dressing!

when you are in love you need:
- get a pen and paper 'cos that makes me more poetic and the output'll be good!

one of your most peaceful memories:
- when i went to korea without my boss! damn! it was so peaceful and in a foreign country. feeling ko nakawala ako sa kulungan! bwahaha with per diem pa! yey.. super fantastic memory!

one of your most tragic memories:
- nung muntik na kami nahulog ng tulay while my brother was driving his car. there is no warning sign na putol pala ang tulay.. mabilis pa naman kami...

one of your angriest memories:
- i can't remember mostly siguro when someone goes through my stuff. it really irritates me!

a memory that makes you laugh:
- when i remember happy memories with lola panda.. she is so funny! hehe don't need to elaborate mejo may pagka salbahe..

memory that makes you happy:
- hmm... simple things, prolly when i was still in SGV. yung natulog ako sa office and the when i woke up everything is ready to be delivered with the client. tapos after that day.. sobrang relieved.. sobrang sense of fulfillment.. haaay!

something someone can say or do that you find extremely attractive:
- whenever i see people helping other people.. sobrang natutuwa ako sa mga matutulungin na tao.. panloob kasi ang kagandahan noh! ;)

something someone can say or do that you find unattractive:
- mga mayayabang that would say something that they cannot really do!

two things appealing about people
- people who do not worry to much and is an achiever without being dodgy

a personality trait you find appealing:
- caring and generous

your secret passion:
- eh di na secret ano buzz! sakin na lang yun! baka magulanta kayo pagnalaman nyo :D

what you enjoy most about having a committed relationship:
- knowing that you're doing things together and it makes it achievable and worth achieving!

if you had more time alone you would:
- meditate and listen to what God has to say about my life's purpose.

if you could change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be:
- sana tumangkad naman ako kahit konti hehe

if you had no committments what would you be doing:
- enjoy life.. find a hobby like surfing or mountain climbing!

if you could have one super power what would it be:
- i've always wanted to teleport, para di ka na magaksaya ng panahon sa pagtravel... on second thought, im enjoying looking at people and how each of them is different and has their own way of expressing themselves.. probably mind-reader na lang kasi mejo slow ako parati eh.. hehe :D

Palm Sunday is never the same without the palaspas. In St. Mary's, we were not able to see anyone with palaspas and I suddenly miss the one we had in the Philippines wherein it feels so good holding it high and swaying it until it get blessed. I was a bit flustered since it ain't complete without 'em. But as we approach the entrance of the church we saw some containers with few stems of palm leaves. It really looks so simple and brittle. Then I just realise that here in Sydney they make it simple as possible and its the very essence of the celebration rather than make it colorful. But still I miss the creativity that we have back home. Here's how'd the palaspas looks like (c/o Renee- ayan may credits ka na)




After the mass, we had our usual Sunday coffee at Gloria Jeans and headed for grocery. I saw an Oral B's electric toothbrush which just costs me $15 and I think its really cheap. Now i can have cleaner and a whiter teeth for as long as I want. Buy it now and get that killer smile that you always wanted! (naks endorser na raw..)